Left to right: Michael Hughes, Berenice Howard-Smith and Sarah Lawrence, St Pancras, London October 2023
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Founder and Director
“It’s been one hell of a life changing journey over the past five and a half years in terms of my infertility and ultimate childlessness.
Not content with having one fertility wrecking condition, I had two. I’d struggled for years with health problems, that none of the ‘experts’ identified. It wasn’t until my miscarriage in 2012, that I was taken seriously and would ultimately be diagnosed with stage four Endometriosis in 2014.
I’m going to be honest, my mental health has always been a bit shaky, but after the miscarriage, I hit my lowest point...or so I thought. Because, less than two years later I was told there would be no children during a 10 minute consultation. It was then that I truly became familiar with what it feels like to hit rock bottom.
What got me through it? Counselling, soul searching and a level of bloody mindedness that even surprised me. I wasn’t going to be beat by this thing, even though there have been times that I’ve felt like it was going to.
However, that’s not the end of my story because just one year after being told I’d never have children of my own, my symptoms started to return. I was then diagnosed with Adenomyosis in 2015- a similar condition to Endometriosis, but it manifests in the muscular lining of the womb. It meant yet more procedures to hold off the symptoms and the inevitable hysterectomy. It was only ever going to be a short term fix and so ultimately I had to have this serious piece of surgery in November 2017. Hello again rock bottom!
While I was back down there for a while, by this time, I had already decided that financial services wasn’t where I wanted to be. I wanted to contribute and give back to my community. I’m now a qualified counsellor. I can give back to my community because I want to be able to support and empower people going through this difficult and painful process.”
Sarah takes care of all our admin and guest bookings. She also checks our content for appropriateness and brings her counselling skills and inclusivity to The Full Stop. She is also a trained trauma counsellor at After The Storm.
Contact Sarah -
Founder and Director
I’ve been through 6 rounds of failed IVF and have recurrent miscarriages. I have suffered with PTSD. Counselling changing my life but so did finding good friends. That helped me to be more open about my losses and that enabled me to ‘feel’ my grief.
I’ve hit the very lowest point and struggled with hanging onto this life for a while. I am not less, but more for my journey. Like you.
Attending Fertility Fest in 2018 where I met Michael was an important part of my recovery. A year later I met Sarah at Fertility Fest 2019.
Like you, I get good days and bad days. The podcast was a good day idea!
In 2013, I completed a Masters degree in Graphic Design and Typography which lead to the creation of a social design project Walk In Our Shoes, based on research to attitudes in the media about childlessness.
I am training with The University of Cambridge to become a qualified coach in June 2024.I live with the rescue dog who rescued me, Lady Molly Lickalot. Along with Michael, I’m a proud World Childless Week champion. I’m a Mental Health First Aider and collaborate with Cambridge University Press and Assessment on DEIB.
I’ve spoken at Fertility Fest and won awards at the Cambridgeshire Digital Awards and listed as One to Watch by Cofinitive and a Digital Women award winner. I’m part of Women Who Code, and UX design group IXDA. I am passionate detangling design and run a design practice called Hello Lovely.
Berenice brings her design and tech skills to The Full Stop as the creator of the brand and website. She also edits the newsletter and looks after social media. -
Founder and Director
I’m one half of a childless couple that have as we like to say “made it through” but we didn’t do it alone. Many years on the psychologists couch delving into the combined results of dysfunctional families, PTSD from childhood sexual abuse and depression from our childlessness helped us greatly.
On the other side of this we discovered a love of travel, that has taken us to many parts of the world this too helps us cope with being CNBC. It was the writing of a blog that I started on the eve of Mother’s Day 2016 at 1am in the morning in a motel off the i10 just outside of Quincy in Florida on one such trip that has led me to being part of this podcast.
It was from here we found a Facebook group ‘Childless Path To Acceptance’ that was full of women in our position. The warmth, support and love that flowed from this group opened our eyes to a wider world. It was 2018 on another adventure this time in the UK, in a Shepherds Bush pub, The Green, that we met Stephanie Phillips, the admin of the group, who went on to found World Childless Week, Berenice, and the courageous Sweetie Horne, who, just like my wife Vickie was scared of what was to come by opening themselves up, as we were all just about to venture into an event called Fertility Fest.
For those that like the more personal knitty gritty Vickie and I met when we were about 16 as we both had a casual job at the local McDonalds. I was new to Australia as my family had emigrated to Australia from the UK a couple of years before we met, Vickie on the other hand is a true ‘Skippy’. We married in our mid 20’s and started for a family closer to our 30’s and by 40 we had to draw a line in the sand to say, we’d never be parents. Of course there is much more to the story, but you’re going to have to listen to the podcast to find that out.
Michael edits the audio for our podcast and created the videos on our YouTube channel. He brings his unique voice to our work, and speaks for men who are childless not by choice. Read his Married and Childless blog and watch his videos.
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Sending you all so much love. Just finished listening to Mental Health and deeply affected by Berenice’s story, it’s so like my own. Love Meriel’s wisdom. Thank you for giving us an authentic and real voice. Big hugs and appreciation from Greece.
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I’ve just listened to your latest podcast and wanted to thank you . I love your podcasts. It was a very powerful one with Jody. Brought tears to my eyes but also laughter. Shows just how hard our situations are and how we ignored and put down in life . Ageing without children is the most awful thought ever and I loved the idea about having the group to support elderly childless and how to take that forward. Thank you again for helping on a lonely journey
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I appreciate the honestly. I know you’re childless, not childfree (no triggers or confusion!). I like the simplicity of it, no fancy sound effects but straight down to it with the content. I don't need all the stats, I know them, but I do want your conversation, the warmth from your obvious friendships between you and your guests. I enjoy every second, thanks so much Michael, Sarah and Berenice.
FAQs
Who presents the Full Stop podcast?
The podcast is presented by Sarah Lawrence, Michael Hughes and Berenice Smith. We are all are childless not by choice.
How do I listen to the Full Stop podcast?
You can listen to us on the website here, Podbean, Spotify and Apple.
Who listens and where from?
Our audience is predominantly based in the UK with 41% of our listeners coming from this country. We have 27% of our listeners in USA and 12% in Australia. We are also listened to in New Zealand, Germany, Switzerland, Ireland, Sweden, Denmark, Spain, Netherlands, France, India, Cayman Islands, Poland, San Marino, Hong Kong, Latvia, Austria, Belgium and Italy (source: Podbean August 2020).
Sixty-two percent of our listeners use Apple podcasts. We’re also on Spotify, Google Play and Stitcher.
As of March 2023, we’ve had 30K downloads through our website and online platforms.
How often do you release the podcast?
It’s every month. We record during the middle of each month and release on the second weekend and this takes place in our Community.
Can I be a guest?
Here’s our Guest Submission for more details on what make a great guest appearance.
Can I interview you?
Yes, you can! We’re happy to talk about our experiences, just drop us a line and we’ll be in touch. You can also contact us about speaking at events. We are happy to adapt our content to suit your audience for the best results.
Why are you called the Full Stop podcast?
We are named the Full Stop because it’s the end of one part, the start of another. We asked for names and we credit Jody Day with coming up with this gem.
Can I donate to your work?
Yes, you can donate to us by buying us a virtual KOFI. Childless not by choice people are welcome to join our Community which plays a huge part in our future security. For other donations, legacies and support including voluntary help please drop us a line.
Do you have transcripts?
Yes, we began to create these thanks to KOFI funding from late 2022.
Do you have any resources to help listeners?
We list recommended groups in our Toolkit online resource and in the show notes on our Listen page. We will be developing resources and growing our Toolkit.
Can I embed your audio in my website
Please see our terms and conditions for what we allow under our IP rights here.
Can I review the Full Stop podcast?
Yes. There are three ways to help us. You can share our episodes with others, leave a review (on Apple this means we get more notice) and follow us on social media (see footer for the links).